How to know your partner's love language

How to know your partner’s love language


Knowing your partner’s love language can help strengthen your relationship and improve communication. The concept of love languages was introduced by Dr. Gary Chapman in his book “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate”. He identifies five different love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Read our article on the 5 Love Languages.

Below are some tips on how to identify your partner’s love language.

1. Observe Their Behavior

Pay attention to the things your partner does to show you love. Do they often give you compliments, encourage you, or say “I love you”? If so, their love language may be Words of Affirmation. Do they frequently do things for you, like running errands or cooking you dinner? This could indicate that Acts of Service is their love language.

2. Listen to How They Compliment You

When your partner compliments you, take note of what they say. Do they praise your appearance or your abilities? This could indicate that their love language is Words of Affirmation. Do they compliment your thoughtfulness or your willingness to help them out? This could suggest that Acts of Service is their love language.

The 5 Love Languages

3. Pay Attention to How They Spend Their Time

People who value Quality Time as their love language appreciate spending uninterrupted time together. If your partner often suggests activities that involve just the two of you, such as date nights or weekend getaways, Quality Time may be their love language.

4. Notice Their Reactions to Gifts

If your partner lights up when they receive a gift from you, Receiving Gifts could be their love language. People who value this love language often feel loved when they receive thoughtful gifts that show their partner was thinking of them.

5. Observe How They Show Physical Affection

People who value Physical Touch as their love language enjoy cuddling, hugging, holding hands, and other physical contact. If your partner is often touching you or looking for ways to be physically close, Physical Touch could be their love language.

6. Take the Love Languages Quiz Together

The Love Languages quiz is a tool created by Dr. Chapman to help couples identify their love languages. Taking the quiz together can be a fun and informative way to learn more about each other’s preferences. Check out Dr. Chapman’s Love Language quiz too here.

Wrap up

Understanding your partner’s love language is an important step in building a healthy and fulfilling relationship. It can help you communicate more effectively, and ensure that both partners feel loved and appreciated. By observing your partner’s behavior, listening to their compliments, paying attention to their time, gifts, and physical affection, and taking the Love Languages quiz, you can learn more about how to love and support your partner in the way that is most meaningful to them.

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